sesulit apapun untuk bersedih, bukankah lebih sulit untuk tidak bersedih?

akhir-akhir ini gue ngerasa ngga jelas. rasanya sepi, kesepian, fake. bener bener ngga jelas.
bahkan gue ngga minat untuk buang buang uang. yang selalu gue lakuin kalo lagi sumpek.
iya, rasanya sumpek. gue bahkan gatau gue harus ngapain.
gue ngerasa bener bener sepi. not literally. but sometimes, it feels like numb.
pengen teriak marah marah. pengen bilang kalo gue capek. gue lagi capek mengerti.
capek mengalah. capek melawan kekecewaan.
...............................................
i don't even know what to tell. what to say.
just keep pretending. like always.
i need my souls. my sevensouls.
i don't need to be pretending at all.
guys, i miss you so much.
so much.....

why is it easier to be mad at the people you trust?
because you know that they will always love you, no matter what.
i wanna be home. just lemme go home. i wanna be home.
please..

it hurts, man............

Man, i miss you. damn you!

capek

a letter to my mommy

Try not to cry Mommy
Wipe that tear from your eye
Take care of my brother,
He's a special little guy.

And when you get lonely
When you're thinking of me
Just look deep in his eyes,
And there's where I'll be.

I know that you tried
And did your very best.
You left it up to God,
And He took care of the rest.

I know you don't understand
Why I had to leave so soon,
But someday He will show you,
So please try not to grieve.

Don't give up on God
Or lose all faith in man.
Blayze needs to know the way
To get to the "Promised Land".

I know the pain is awful
I can see it in your face.
But one day when we meet again,
You'll feel my strong embrace.

My body's no longer weak,
It's finally tough as me...
God knew that I needed a stronger one,
He broke the mold when He made me!

I'm with you every day
And I see you every night.
I just wish you could hear me,
When I tell you I'm alright.

To answer all your questions
No, I'm not alone...
I'm a very busy angel,
And now I'm breathing on my own.

There are no tubes and wires
For God has set me free
I have no more painful heel sticks
No medicine

And the question about me growing...
You'll have to wait and see
But if you look deep inside yourself
That's where I will be.

For that is my new home
And I know deep down you know
That all the love you feel for me
Will feed me and I will grow.

I no longer have that body
Although cute, I've found out
I needed to have wings
And that body came without.

My time for writing this letter
Has suddenly grown short,
I have one more thing to say
Before I end my small report:

Mommy, please dry your tears
And try to picture the day
When you're right here beside me,
And we can watch the angels play.

And to Daddy who held me tightly
And rocked me in his arms
I'll never forget him napping
As I listened to his heart.

And tell my sweet twin brother
I'm sorry I had to go.
But I'll always be right beside him,
Helping him to grow.

And tell the people that love me
To dry their teary eyes
And always talk about me...
Keep my memory alive.

Iwan Gogo B.P. Panjaitan

aku suka sekali Quesadilla. Suatu hari nanti aku harus bisa mencobanya langsung di Meksiko.